Saturday, 31 December 2011

Happy new year

hey readers/ fellow bloggers,

Just wanted to say happy new year to everyone reading!

hope 2012, is a good year for you and your family and friends,

Take care

Friday, 30 December 2011

Just a thought for the innocent killed in Syria, and the rest of the Middle East

I was reading some articles and watching a few videos;

...It's a fucking disgrace, why isn't this showed more on the major media outlets, (fox, sky etc...), there are people being fucking slaughtered, gunned down for merely walking down the street. If that happened here in London or in the US, 10 people being killed would make major headlines, In Syria, it's passed off as normal.

I think that it's important to note that it is ONLY the fault of the Syrian government that this revolution has begun. But its important that many more people get to know about this to spread the word. there are Syrian military who are hiring out mercenary death squads and killing hundreds of civilians. 

I remember clearly when the London train bombings happened, there was an absolute media outcry when comparably 52 people died, whereas in Syria alone, so far more than 5'000 have been killed in Syria, since the uprising began and the majority of people ust acknowledge it as, "yeah theirs a problem in the middle east".

I am seriously like the only one who gives two shits about this?

Thursday, 29 December 2011

the 3D craze

I was just browsing the CNET website and saw an article for the samsung galaxy s3. I currently have the S2, and love it, but some of the stats of this S3 might make me wanna swap in my current phone. even though the exact spects are not fully confirmed yet, korean manufacturers say that the S3 will have a 720p, 3D screen and powering it will be a quad core processor.

Here is a link to the CNET article,

To be completely honest, as much as i love tech, I cannot say that i am a fan of 3D. It does seem to be everywhere at the moment and i do wish that hollywood would stop "3D'ing" everything, because now, even phone manufactures, aswell as TV manufacturers are buying into the 3D craze.

Luckily however, their are some directors, such as Batman and inception director, christopher nolan, who understands that the 3D phase is just a gimmick, and produce's great quality, high definition films for IMAX and regular blu-ray release rather than falling for the 3D trap.

I am sure though, that more people than not, prefer watching 3D films on their 3D phones and 3D t.v's. I just don't get it to be honest. Personally speaking i think it is just a distraction from the story's plot, films like avatar needed 3D cos (and this is my opinion and i'm sure your's will differ), they had shit, generic and boring plots and 3D experience made that film barely watchable.

anyway, im glad i got that off my chest,

Thanks for reading

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

What the fuck is a normal person?

I have always wondered what the fuck a "normal " person is. Is it someone who lives by a pre-ordained, dull version of the life expected of one to follow, i.e; grow up; go to college; get a job; get married; buy a home; have 2.5 kids; and then wait for your kids to do the same until you retire and die slowly. NO. if this is normal, then fuck it. I'm certainly not normal by these standards, and although im at university, i'm only going to do what feels right for me. If i dont want to get married and have kids before the age of 30, fuck it... I wont. Does that make me abnormal?, no.

I think the problem starts when we are kids. We watch our parents and, in most cases, find them as role models. we wont to grow up to be like them. Personally speaking, i think the idea of HAVING to go to university has a negative impact on a childs mentallity. It certainly did for me, I am in college and regret the fuck out of being here... but the problem is, that I have been forced to think since i was a child, that having a degree is one of the most valuable assets in one's life and so i will finsih my final year and say a big FUCK you to the education system. Are we not stopping kids from being free to experiment, be TRUE leaders and develop their own business's? If i had my way i would hae gone into property development, and started by working in a real estate agency, but no, instead (dare i say i was forced), to go into university to study something i do not have much interest in and which will leave me  in a shit load of debt. (im studying mechanical engineering for 5 years). some, if not all, of you reading this will not agree with me and i respect that, i think i am speaking from my prespective, it was just the way i brought up, Im sure your story and or opinions are different.

fuck normal people (whatever normal means)


Wednesday 28th December

I think i'm depressed. I've been feeling low for a while now and am not sure what is causing it. the more i think about, the more ideas i get as too what is causing it. maybe it's a lack of social interaction, or a lack of accomplishment but something within me is missing. I am very conscious about apperance and it doesn't help when people point it out.

Last night's dinner party was shit. I stayed upstairs for the duration of the night, just to avoid speaking to the fake people. i ingested two sleeping pills to help ease the night, but it didn't really help. I have never admitted this before, but i have a severe addiction to sleeping pills. I personally doubt that it's more of a physical addiction, but rather a mental one, it's something i need in my daily life, like a smoker needs nicotine or a fat kid needs ice cream.

I apologize for this blog entry being so short, i'm just not feeling in the right mood. i am de-motivated at the moment. I have always said to myself that i never want to be in the position where i feel self pitty. gonna head to gym tommorow, workout till i drop dead.

i feel sick in my head

**Quick question**

hey, jsut had a quick question, I changed my name on the payee name for google Adsense, and they sent me an e-mail saying i had to re submit my tax information... I never actually entered any tax information in the first place. and im not sure i have to since i live outside of the US. So wtf is going on here? Also, i asked for ads to be placed on my blog, but none have been put up so far. what is going on?

Any suggestions?


Tuesday, 27 December 2011

feel like moving away

yeah, so im in the middle of the this dinner party, but when i say im in the middle of it, Im upstairs while my cousins are fighting downstairs and everyone else is in the main tv room/lounge area pretending to like eachother.

I've been thinking whether or not it is me with the negative attitude towards everything in life, and as a matter of fact, maybe i slightly do, (NOTE: im not going to deny it, even though I hardly believe it myself), but when i am in a great big house with people who feel they need to shout to communicate, where arguments, rivalries, disobedience amongst the children is the norm, I am hardly the one with any problems.

Music is my escape from all this. it evokes feelings within that i didnt know i had. I cry listening to lyrics which have a certain capability to change the way i think and act. other than thinking that the majority of the music produced in the 21st century is horse shit, there are those very few artists who can I can actually call musicians. The 60's, 70's and 90'provided great artists without any of this auto-tune bullshit or enhanced vocals. the rolling stones and Nirvana play a huge part in my life. as does the internet. this is why this blog is so important to me, it's an absolute vent for me, somewhere i can express my feelings and not just bottle them up.

Maybe im just trying to find an excuse not to go downstairs and write this blog instead, but it's an addicting feeling. knowing that atleast someone is reading this, that this blog, this writing will most likely "live" longer than i do. it's an footprint in the world which our ancestors never got the chance to do so. I guess i have the same feeling as everyone else has or had... the feeling, the lust to be remembered by more than just your family. to not be just a vague distant memory in the years after i have passed away.

I feel liberated writing this, I feel more free than i have done recently, it has opened my mind, made me realize that atleast someone reading cares, Even if it is just one other person, it's someone.

Until later,


im hating my life

for my future self; the reason you were feeling like that is because you felt useless... did nothing for like 2 days straight, still haven't been to the gym or done anyhting productive. CHANGE

anyway for tonight's dinner party, cant be bothered. couldn't care less...just going to have take a shower and try and put on a fucking fake smile so people think that im at least trying. if it wasn't for my mum, i probably wouldn't be in contact with anyone of them.

hopefully tommorow will be a good day.

ill post after the evening is done then. best of luck to myself i guess

Monday, 26 December 2011

26th December '11

So i realise not many, (if anyone), will actually read this, but yeah... so anyway, today was a day of nothing. woke up late after playing cards till 3am last night after my family dinner. mum made a killer breakfast then went to the hospital to see her uncle. I stayed in again today, wasting my christmas holidays, but then again who can i go out with? i have no friends (prefer it this way), and have nowhere to go to. i suppose the company of my brother's is good enough. the fewer connections i have now, the less amount of money i will have to pay out as loans when i am older.

So, i started playing xbox again today, more specifically MW3. good game, just enjoy the company of a good friend joshua, whom i have known from college for over a year now... he was the only one who came to my birthday night, although i didnt invite anyone else to be honest, and we still go kicked out the club because of innapropriate footwear. fuck london bouncers.

Mum told me earlier that she was hosting yet another party at our house, most annoying fucking thing ever!... she makes us clean a fair few bits and stresses out over the cooking. but it's okay... if there is one person who i cannot stay mad at, it my mum. she has helped me with everything and is respectful of my decision to leave Islam, and at times when i get angry and sometimes shout the arguments against religion, she still never shouts at me... always cool, calm and collected.

but yeah, so another day, and now tommorow noght another fucking dinner party, with a bunch of family members who would never hesitate to mock you, either privately or openly. yet another night where i feel like the outcast at a family gathering. I suppose i am at that age (20) that i cannot really talk to the elders cos they are over emotional and ignorant, and the kids, mostly my cousins, who are fucking annoying ass shit.

oh well, i hope if anyone decides to read this shit excuse for a blog, then i'll post tommorow with some shit about shit that went down on the night.


great poem i read on loneliness

Lonely on the land I walk,
Lonely cross the sea I sail,
Lonely air of beach I stroll –
This lonely life doth take its toll.

Lonely trek of woodland trail,
Lonely mist in haze o’ dawn,
Lonely spies the bird of prey
In lonely circles all astray.

Lonely be the dark of night
When sleep is but a yearning wish,
To dream of sweet companions close,
As wine would pair with diner's dish.

Lonely do these thoughts me make
That draw my blood of precious life;
Replace with stream of flowing pain
To bless my veins with coursing strife.

Lonely years are now my friends,
Lonely cries bereft of sound,
Lonely tears that cool my face
In lonely life of sullen pace.

Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009

Sunday, 25 December 2011


As this is primarily for my kids and family to read, after i have assuringly become old, I will try not to swear, but you need to realise that i couldn't give a shit about the offensiveness of words.  I have long wanted to change my legal name, this is because, I left Islam and do not want to be associated with that name, Unless of course i move to Dubai, which i may do after graduation, (but thats for another post).

So today is christmas 2011, and i brought my little brother a nintendo wii console, gave my mum an expensive gift voucher, my brother money and my father, nothing.

We are going to nano's house tonight for dinner, i hope there is something i can eat since i am, (and have been for around 3 months now), a Pescatarian (a person who does not eat land mammals, i.e. chicken, beef etc, but i do eat Fish and eggs and drink milk).

So yeah, I have this mentality which makes me the outcast at family gatherings. I have a mutual dislike towards my greater family, (mum and 2 brothers are fine, dad not so much), but i am referring to the greater family, (aunts, uncles and cousins, of which i happen to be the eldest cousin and grandson). I have this feeling where i cannot look at somebody else without comparing myself to them. i feel superior to everyone in both intelligence and dialogue, even if my written spelling is not perfect as you will surely find out.

Nirvana, the band, are my favourite musicians and their lyrics make me look past people's fake attitudes. I know everyone talks about me and compare me to others. Fuck them. I hate them. they pretend to be friendly but will not hesitate to talk behind your back making fun of your appearance or personality. the worst are the one's who feel they are superior and perfect, note that i am not contradicting myself from an earlier passage, because although i feel an air of superiority over others, i NEVER speak behind people's back's and always confront others who do so... Also FUCK being perfect.

I will gradually let this blog become my best friend, my online diary, my escape from everyhting fake and bullshit. I'm already loving this.

First post!

hey, i am new to the blogging scene, I want to keep an online journal of my life from this day forth. Hopefully, my family, and chldren will be able to see this when i am older. Pretty exciting to be honest haha, I will be bloggging about everything and anything i am intersted in, and want to see how my hobbies and interests develop change as I go from the age of 20 to 30. 

movie stuff

Really looking forward to the new batman film, "The dark knight rises". been a big fan of christopher nolans work aand have seen all if the films he has made so far.